5 Women’s Take on Whether Christians Should Try Online Dating

5 Women’s Take on Whether Christians Should Try Online Dating

One of the cool things about technology is that we can leverage it for so many things now from grocery shopping to turning down your thermostat when you’re away from home. As a tool, I think it’s great for those who are open to utilize even in the space of online dating. – Michelle McKinney

Should Christians Online Date?

This has always been a hot topic in my opinion. The Bible is a complete work and it says that nothing should be added to it or subtracted from it or ______, and I don’t want the latter. However, I often wish that some things in The Word were clearer because I feel the lines with so many things are blurred. This is due in part to people taking the word of God out of context and using it for their personal agenda; but that’s a topic for another day.

The Bible does not say: “Though Shalt Not Tinder”? BUT here is why I don’t online date: I don’t like the idea of picking and choosing what I want in a spouse on an app. Whenever I tried to piece together what I thought was best for me, I always ended up disappointed. I’ve to take a back seat and leave the love story writing to God. The truth is: I still don’t know what’s best for me sis. Whenever the thought of online dating came up for me, it was because I’d became impatient waiting on God to bring me a spouse. I have lost faith, many times, that love was possible for me.

Asa Dugger talks a bit about this:

I’m gonna keep it 100. I’m not a fan of the whole idea of online dating being that we live in a world of liars, false prophets and just weird people. Despite that, I won’t say Christians shouldn’t date online, but I WILL say Christians shouldn’t be fishing for a man when some of us are still spiritually immature, financially struggling and emotionally a mess.  I was “the mess” on these sites looking for love so I understand exactly what Asa is talking about.

Now some, like Seyi, may argue that faith without works is dead so you need to go to where you spouse may be:

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard of successful marriages that started via online dating. In fact, here’s a friend of mine who has a similar story and great points:

In my humble opinion, I think Christians should do only that which glorifies God. When it comes to online dating, the intent seems to be to find compatible partners to foster a relationship that can later develop into something intimate. I don’t think there is anything wrong with desiring and seeking after relational experiences through social channels. I can attest to the fact that some of my best relationships have been fostered through social media platforms. After all, I met my husband on Facebook. – Christina Akomea

I must have faith that God knows what’s best. In a world everyone wants what they want and they want it now; I can see why people, Christians alike, chose online dating as a viable method to find a spouse. I was on the fence about online dating a few years ago and my co-workers convinced me to join. I had no idea that Tinder was for casual sex and hookups; I was on there looking for love in all the wrong places clearly. After my week or so stint with Tinder, I went back to my original stance: online dating is not for me!

Check Your Intentions Sis

With anything, I think it’s important that we check our motives and intentions when we decided to sign up for online dating. Is it because we became too became impatient waiting? Loss faith in God? Are desperate for love? A scripture that has helped me to be content in my singleness has been: don’t awaken love before its time. How often do we go knocking on “love’s door” before God gives us the go ahead? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done that.

Alpha agrees: 

“The bottom line is: if you are searching for your spouse online out of desperation, thirst or need for approval then you need to take a moment and learn to be content in your season. However, if you are going in it with the same goal and mindset as that you would have if you were to meet your boo at church, work, etc. then let no religious stigmas stop you. God can use anything to bring two people together. That being said, just leave Tinder alone (that has different objectives) [sic]”.

In closing,

Stay in the will of God. Let God direct you and write your love story. Don’t give up hope that God has someone for you; stop looking at what everyone else has and know that there is someone somewhere, looking for his glasses so he can find you!

Submitted by Alpha

Some Tips from Michelle McKinney’s Single Women’s Class: “Purpose over Passion”:

  • Always pursue your purpose over passion. It helps prevent from aligning yourself with people who could compromise your destiny.
  • If you’re not happy with your pool of mate options, elevate your circles. Go to new places.
  • Consider dating people outside of your ethnicity and age group who align with your values.
  • BE INTENTIONAL about making time for love.

Of course, if you are going to wade into the tech dating world, do your homework about the person and put up the necessary boundaries to protect yourself. What’s the saying, “Doing the same thing and expecting different results is what? Insanity, right?” I’d apply it even to dating.

Thank you for reading! Let’s continue the conversation. Share and send your thoughts in! You may be featured in my next post.

Also, be sure to follow the ladies featured in this post: Christina, Seyi, Asa, Michelle, and Alpha.

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Sade

Sade Solomon is a woman who decided to drop everything she knew and was comfortable with to chase after her dreams. Since having the faith to change careers from social work to fashion, she’s been on this relentless and complex journey to discovering her life’s true purpose. She is the Founder of Conversations Beyond which is a platform that provides inspiration to the everyday woman’s style and soul through a faith & lifestyle blog, web-series, and women’s empowerment meetups/events.

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6 Comments

  1. Tamika
    December 18, 2018 / 4:07 pm

    Omg Sade when I tell God placed your blog on my mind this morning I’m just in shock. I was having a conversation with a good friend yesterday about online dating and meeting my future hubby. I felt a little bit down as I have done online dating for years and so it has been quite an experience up till now. So I decided to stop online dating (still going 2 months strong) due to I was tired of deciding my fate when God is already manifesting it. So this has made me even aware I need to stop online dating. Plus I want to have God set up the meet up between me and my future husband 😊

    • Sade
      Author
      December 19, 2018 / 11:41 am

      WOW!!!! Praise God. I am so glad I was obedient and did this. Funny enough everyone had a different viewpoint on it but God spoke directly to you about what you should do. Thank God that He guides us. Thank you also for your transparency in sharing this with us! I agree with you about allowing God to do it but I will admit it really is a struggle. Let’s keep each other in prayer!

      • Tamika
        December 19, 2018 / 1:18 pm

        Oh yes it is so hard haha!!! Especially since we live in a technological world it drives us everyday. I also did not touch point on the outcome of when I stopped online dating. The whole dynamic of it has really opened me up to be more in tune with myself and not worry about online dating. It almost like a rediscover of self and awareness. I am able to spend time with myself, get myself dolled up for myself, and just feel good about myself. I am reprogramming my mind to understand that once I give up something that I idolize, the blessings and goodness from God will truly come afterwards!

        • Sade
          Author
          December 21, 2018 / 3:03 am

          That last sentence is sooooo key. I realized that I too idolized something and that thing was marriage. I had to also let that go and wait patiently for God. So glad you are becoming more in tune with yourself and shifting your focus!!!

  2. December 21, 2018 / 12:35 am

    An interesting discussion is worth comment. I think that you should write more on this topic, it might not be a taboo subject but generally people are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers

    • Sade
      Author
      December 22, 2018 / 12:46 am

      I will certainly try to talk on this topic more!!!!

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