A Message for Struggling Singles

“If it’s for me, let it last; if it’s not, let it pass.

One of the bravest things I’ve done is allowed God into the most vulnerable parts of me; although He’s fully aware of it all.

Months into “putting myself out there”, with dating, I realized that I had to be real with myself. I had wasted too much of my time entertaining countless men that I wasn’t interested in or knew weren’t aligned to my purpose. How often do we settle for what we’re handed simply because we’re tired of waiting?

When I first starting dating, I would’nt even ask God: “is he the one?”, because I was afraid of hearing the truth. In fact, many times I reasoned to just waste my time rather than allow God to show me the truth about the brother. To avoid more disappointments, with the little strength I had, I started to pray this: God, if He’s not sent from you please show me a sign and remove him from my life. I had to do this because I knew I wouldn’t be able to cut it off on my own. So now, I date with God. I invite and include Him in on all of my plans. I let Him help me because sometimes, ok most times, I don’t have the power help myself. I knowwwww that I’ve escaped A LOT of disappointments because of this. 

God knows our heart and the heart and motives of any man that enters into our life. Why not ask God to check his heart first?

The wait had been hard.

This wait is hard.

Between the wait and the promise is time, disappointments (for me), anxiety, and pain. I started to settle for what I saw because, for one, I didn’t see anything different. I never wanted to be that all-men-are-the-same-kinda-girl but reality proved that to be my truth. Do you know how hard it is to wait for something when you see absolutely no evidence of it? If you’re reading this, I’m sure you do.

I imagine that’s how the children of Israel felt when Moses told them God had a land for them flowing with good food to eat but all they presently had were dry crackers. I imagine this is how Sarah and Abraham felt when God promised them children and year 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, and 90 passed and NOTHING.

Do you know how many times I’ve almost settled for scraps? I get disgusted just thinking about it but grateful that some how I found my way out (or God did).

To speak of this amazing marriage that God has for me takes a lot of crazy faith. I can imagine this is how Noah felt when he had to tell the people that God was sending a storm when it hadn’t rained in 100 years. How is God going to bring a husband when all I’ve experienced was less than average men. The same way He took the children of Israel out of Egpyt, the same way Moses and Sarah bore children after child-bearing age, and the same way it rain in Noah’s time as promised.

My sister reading this, sometimes singleness can feel like suffering, trust me I know. As I was setting dates on my calendar for 2020, I was reminded again that it will be just another Valentine’s day- single. This may seem like nothing to someone who has someone, but if you’re single; like me, that date is just a reminder of single you are. Here’s my encouragement to you: pray for your husband, pray for your marriage, pray for your children, speak in faith, keep your eyes on Jesus, and chase your goals down!

When God’s divine time lines up with the present, your husband will see you and your time waiting will not be in vain. Remember, marriage is a ministry unto God; it’s a covenant between you God and your husband. Marriage is not a wedding day. Marriage is not a cute bridal shower. Marriage is not baecations. Marriage is meant to glorify God in heaven and show His faithfulness on Earth.


Sade Solomon is a woman who decided to drop everything she knew and was comfortable with to chase after her dreams. Since having the faith to change careers from social work to fashion, she’s been on this relentless and complex journey to discovering her life’s true purpose. She is the Founder of Conversations Beyond which is a platform that provides inspiration to the everyday woman’s style and soul through a faith & lifestyle blog, web-series, and women’s empowerment meetups/events.



  1. violet
    October 1, 2019 / 1:25 pm

    Thank you for this sis….so encouraging…so uplifting

    • Sade
      October 20, 2019 / 12:38 am

      Amen ! Praise God!!!

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