Singleness is not a disease!
I don’t care what social media, reality TV, or society has to say: singleness is not a disease. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single and there is nothing wrong with you. Society has influenced more women to jump into relationships than it has helped them embrace their singleness.
If there has been one thing that God has been encouraging me to realize, over these past few years, it’s this: “embrace your singleness”. I fell into the trap of thinking that finding a man would be the solution to some of life’s problems. I would subconsciously wait to move forward in certain areas of my life thinking that I was supposed to experience certain things with a partner. God started to show me that He has me single for a purpose. I made up my mind that as long as I am single, I am going to embrace every single day of my single life (no pun intended).
So what has singleness taught me?
I’ve used my singleness to explore the parts of me I never dealt with while being in a relationship like: “Who is Sade?” I was in a relationship for 7 years and 6 out of the 7 years, I didn’t know who Sade was. Once I was free from the constraints of that relationship, God and I became close and I was able to discover the parts of Sade I hadn’t taken the time to discover before. Discovery of myself, through the help of God, has been a key facet of my journey. I have discovered my taste, my likes/dislikes, and my purpose. I have uncovered and healed from the effects that childhood pain and trauma had on my life. I have found out who I was to Christ and who I was in Him. I have learned what true love is supposed to feel like through my understanding of God’s love towards me. I have used my alone time to start new ventures and explore new things with no restraints. I have used my singleness to devote time to the things of God.
Sometimes we jump into relationships because the fear of being alone is too great. We then find ourselves attaching our purpose, happiness, and peace to another individual. Your purpose is in you and your joy is in God alone. A relationship cannot mend the broken pieces in your life and it cannot heal you, “make you happy”, or whole.
If marriage is something that you seek, spend time becoming the wife a man would want to marry. Work on yourself. Deal with your mess. Heal from your hurt. This is a never-ending journey but at least start it now! Listen sis, I refuse to bring baggage from past relationships and experiences into a marriage and so should you. Repeat after me: I want to be the woman of God that He intends for me to be! Yes, singleness gets lonely sometimes but why would you spend your time sulking in singleness when you can be exploring your purpose? You’re living for a purpose and if you do not take time to discover that purpose, you’re living will be in vain.
If you are single and reading this, I want you to know that no man can heal you from your pain and no man can make you who God has already created you to be. You can find true happiness in God alone. Make God and your relationship with Him priority so that you can discover what true love is supposed to feel like FIRST. Your purpose is too great for you to wait to discover it in a relationship. Embrace your singleness and take the steps towards become who God created you to be TODAY.
Let’s Pray: Lord God, I thank you for your sovereignty. I know that nothing you do is by accident or coincidence, everything is for a purpose. Lord, help me to embrace the purpose of my life and the purpose of my singleness. Help me to focus less on what others have and what others are doing and focus more on me. Help me to embrace every aspect of my singleness. Help me to use my time alone to my benefit. Now God prepare me to be the woman you have created me to be. Mend everything in me that is broken so that I no longer look to things to fill voids. I pray that if your desire for me is marriage, you will help prepare me to be the wife you destined me to be. I pray this prayer in Jesus’ name. Amen.