There’s no one answer to this dilemma but here’s a bit of insight God has given me:
I. You May Not Be Ready For Marriage.
I hope I didn’t lose you already! No one wants to hear that they are not ready for marriage! “God just give it to me already, I’m ready”, you say. Your idea of ready may not be God’s idea of ready. What I’ve learned, while living through this singles thing, is this: “tough love” is the best love. Sometimes God has to give it to me straight. I thought I was ready for marriage some years ago. Looking back, I’ve must have been completely delusional. The amount of time you’re with someone doesn’t indicate you two are ready for marriage; I thought it did.
“Well, we’ve been together 5 years he should pop the question shouldn’t he?”, we ask.
A resounding No! Is that the man that God ordained for you to be with or are you desiring marriage because you two are comfortable? I had to ask myself the same question. I’d never put my relationship in God’s hands. I never said : “God, if he’s the one tell me!” I was planning a marriage in my head based on my own will; I wasn’t even ready. I had no clue on what being a wife was! After that relationship ended, I entered many situationaships with men whom I prayed would be the one. I had to change my perspective if I expected God to bring me a spouse. Through this journey, God has made it clear that it’s in my best interest to 1) pray for my spouse and 2) allow God to prepare me for Him.
If you want the God thing, that “thing” takes time. We can’t rush into relationships or marriage without readying ourselves. God wants you to be fully equipped for ministry. Yes, “marriage” is a ministry first. You and your spouse are joined together to serve together. You and your spouse are joined together to bring glory and honor to God. God instructs that a man must love His wife like God loves the church; that’s ministry. Marriage is selfless. Are you ready to give of your complete self to another individual? I had to ask myself this question too! Am I ready to give up the ability to make decisions solely on my own without having to consider a partner? Mmmm…not too sure lol. But seriously, if you’re praying for a “Godly” relationship are you ready to:
◄ 1 Peter 3:1 ►
…submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives. Preparation! There is so much that goes into being a wife that we must consider before deeming ourselves prepared. I’m ministering to you the same way I’ve minister to myself countless times. I’m human and yes sometimes being single gets lonely but I’ve learned to embrace my singleness. I have moments of weakness but when I think about my marriage I want God to be completely in it; I don’t want any man not sent from Him.
II. God may have you hidden.
You are beautiful sis. You are a gem to God. You’re precious in His sight. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. You’re not being overlooked you’re planted. Anything that is planted cannot be seen until it’s has been watered enough. Let God continue to water you. Let Him nurture you. When the time is right, you will sprout from the ground with strong roots to continue to grow. The man that God has for you will pick you. You wont have to chase after him, lose your morals to get him, or lose yourself to keep Him-can someone repost that!
Let God do a complete work in you so that you have a marriage that lasts in a society of 50% divorce rates. God is not done with you yet. Trust Him. Wait on His time. Allow Him to prepare you. You may not be ready for marriage yet and that is okay, when the time comes you and bae will be happy you waited.
A foundation of a building is what makes the building stand; same goes for marriage. The foundation of a marriage is God and two individuals with characteristics that align with His. Let God prepare you. I prefer a home-cooked meal over a microwave one any day. Don’t let your marriage be “hot” on the outside and “cold” on the inside because you didn’t wait on God– repost this too. If you are being hidden by God, count that as an honor. God adores you so much that He doesn’t want the wrong man to see and ruin the preciousness that you are.