Single, Not Desperate

When I starting writing this post, I drew a blank but after reading Keri Hilson’s post, about being comfortable in her singleness, alllllllllll of my thoughts came back!

There’s a thinnnnnn line between being single and being desperate! There was a point in my life where I was so single and so desperate that I attracted anything (A·NY·THING).

Desperation gave off a scent that I was willing to waste my time and I did! I remember having these long conversations with dudes I truly knew I couldn’t do life with and one day God said: STOP.

I was so discontent with being single that I was willing to engage with anyone who would take interest in me; can I keep it real!? I didn’t value my singleness or my time!

Although being alone isn’t always easy, I’m at a point where I refuse to be desperate and you should to. Don’t allow your impatience and the enemy’s lies about your future to force you into a relationship or MARRIAGE out of pure desperation.

Don't allow your impatience and the enemy's lies about your future force you into a relationship or MARRIAGE out of pure desperation. Click To Tweet

Don’t take the scraps that are offered to you! Know what you’re worth and what you deserve. God doesn’t want to give you secondhand blessings. Don’t just take anything that’s offered to you; wait on God’s best!

Set the standards for yourself and your future relationship and don’t let time discourage you (I’m preaching to myself too). Sometimes you have to remind yourself of who you are! On second thought, always remind yourself about who you are!

I rather be single than be with the wrong person. The enemy knows your taste and he also sees your desperation; so he will send you that “one” who will derail you from your dreams and your purpose. Who has time for that ? 🙋🏾‍♀️This girl doesn’t.

Paul’s saying concerning singleness is:

“Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them…

1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:17‬a NIV‬‬

This means we need to be cool with where God has us! He knows our heart and our desires for marriage so when the time is right, He’ll come through.

Your singleness is a time of reflection, healing, and service. Get to know yourself and get to know God. Allow God to show you what true love and marriage mean to Him. Get out of that place of self-pity and desperation; it’s okay to work on you and it’s okay to be single!


Sade Solomon is a woman who decided to drop everything she knew and was comfortable with to chase after her dreams. Since having the faith to change careers from social work to fashion, she’s been on this relentless and complex journey to discovering her life’s true purpose. She is the Founder of Conversations Beyond which is a platform that provides inspiration to the everyday woman’s style and soul through a faith & lifestyle blog, web-series, and women’s empowerment meetups/events.



  1. April 25, 2018 / 3:42 pm

    Sooooo needed this 🙌🏾🙌🏾 Right on

    • Sade
      April 27, 2018 / 3:55 am

      Thank God!!!!!!

  2. April 25, 2018 / 4:10 pm

    Amen, amen and amen to this! The amount of mistakes I’ve made because of desperation and loneliness is insane 🤦🏼‍♀️ And this will sound so cliche but once I focused on my relationship with God, I was fully satisfied regardless of my relationship status. It all comes down to trusting God and knowing that what He has for our future is better than anything we can desperately cling to on our own strength. I look forward to see where God will lead you!

    • Sade
      April 27, 2018 / 3:54 am

      You are not alone! We have all been there. Thank God we serve a God who is so gentle with us. He shows us what true love really means. I pray that you will continue to walk in the truth about who you are! Don’t let this world force you to believe you are less than who God has called you to be. Yes, let us continue to cling to God and His truths and prayerfully our mates will come! Thank you and please keep me in prayer!

  3. Obiye from Nigeria
    April 26, 2018 / 6:35 am

    The above scripture resonates with me. Grow wherever you are planted….Single or married

    • Sade
      April 27, 2018 / 3:53 am

      Girl, that message hit me as well! It’s always good to stay in God’s word so we can rest in His truths!

  4. QueenK
    April 27, 2018 / 9:37 pm

    I needed this. Thank you for sharing.

    • Sade
      April 30, 2018 / 3:23 am

      Thank God!

  5. September 5, 2018 / 4:43 pm

    This is so good and even more relatable for me in this current season.

    This: “The enemy knows your taste and he also sees your desperation; so he will send you that “one” who will derail you from your dreams and your purpose” also hit home because I know that is how my last situation went down. You become so blind because of that desperation.

    Thanks for allowing God to use you to share this!


    • Sade
      September 8, 2018 / 9:20 pm

      Amen Praise God. I had to re-read that quote because I wrote this so long ago. That thing is still so relevant to me now too. It’s an area I am working through and be having some really great conversations about !

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