What I Learned About Abuse

When I sat down to speak with Destiny, I had no idea that I would discover things about myself in our conversation. I didn’t have a clue that I would discover that I too might have been in a domestic violence situation. Like Destiny stated, abuse isn’t only physical but emotional too. Because you don’t see the physical scars, this doesn’t mean that the emotional wounds aren’t deep.
To me, emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse. Emotional abuse can go unnoticed for so long because maybe you’ve convinced yourself into thinking that: “It’s okay for him to talk to me like this”, “maybe he’s just having a bad day”, or “maybe what he’s saying is true.” If you have this mindset about the emotional abuse, you’re allowing that individual the freedom to keep abusing you.
No, I’m no expert on abuse but I do know any form of emotional abuse is WRONG. Emotional abuse is a huge blow to your self-confidence and self-worth. To think, for years, I allowed myself to be degraded and talked down upon by someone who claimed to love me. One thing I do know for sure is: Love doesn’t hurt.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

-1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Sis, this is true love. He does not love you if he constantly decreases your worth with his words. The longer you allow yourself to stay in this situation, the harder it will be to leave and the more damage it will cause.
To think, years after having been in that emotionally abusive relationship; I still carried the lies of what he said with me. I had to de-program myself from believing what he said and program myself into believing who I know I am in Christ.
Your worth is not dependent on another individual’s ability to see it. Your worth is based on God’s word.
You are:
Fearfully and wonderfully made – Psalm 139:14

Beautiful in the sight of God – Proverbs 3:15-18

Valuable – Matthew 10:31

Truly loved – John 3:16



Sade Solomon is a woman who decided to drop everything she knew and was comfortable with to chase after her dreams. Since having the faith to change careers from social work to fashion, she’s been on this relentless and complex journey to discovering her life’s true purpose. She is the Founder of Conversations Beyond which is a platform that provides inspiration to the everyday woman’s style and soul through a faith & lifestyle blog, web-series, and women’s empowerment meetups/events.


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