Let’s clear the record; I never wanted to be celibate. I thought that the practice of celibacy was way beyond my ability. I mean, I was in a longggg-term (emphasis intended) relationship and we enjoyed the pleasures of pre-marital sex <sorry mom>. Even after I found Christ, got saved, and baptized; I still wasn’t open to nor thinking about practicing celibacy. I was planning my life with my, then, significant other. I thought, ” We’d already been sexually involved, why stop now? To top things off, when the talk of celibacy came up he supported my, then, view on it. He would reassure me by saying: “God will forgive us”, “He understands that we are young and this is what young people do.” Right I thought? Wrong. Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Romans 6:1
Eventually, I started to devote my time to prayer and reading the word. I was beginning to understand God more and I began building a relationship with Him. I started to feel conviction in my spirit about my perception of sex and celibacy. I began to see that my thinking about sex, celibacy, and Christianity was twisted. I was beginning to feel as if I couldn’t engage in “the act” without feeling uncomfortable in my spirit. But as we do with things we don’t want to give up, I pushed the thought aside and kept participating in it until…
One morning, God woke me up out of a dream. The dream was of me making a decision to follow Christ. When I arose that morning, God lead me to read Deuteronomy 28. In Deuteronomy 28, God is explicitly explaining the blessings of obedience and the curses of disobedience. It was then that God spoke to me and said: “if you want anything from me you are going to have to be obedient to my word.” In a quick glance, God gave me a peek into my future. Although not fully clear, He showed me all the blessings He had for me. I instantly asked myself: “am I going to allow sex (my flesh) to hinder me from the blessings of God?” I wasn’t willing to miss out on the “God thing!” I wasn’t ready to forfeit the blessings of God because of my disobedience to His word.
What I was ready to do was give up what I desired for Him. I was willing to make the sacrifice for Christ. That day, I made a decision to say no to sex and yes to God. Has the road been easy? Not quite. Have I had lonely nights? Some. Have I wanted to give in? Did. But God lead me back to Him. I rather be “wrong” to the world and “right” with God than to be “right” to the world and “wrong” with God.
As a woman in waiting, once you decide take sex off the table, the dynamics of relationships and dating/courting changes. You rid yourself of connecting with men who only want you for one thing. You feel more empowered, as you should ! The one thing that pre-marital sex does is it connects your soul with another individual in an unhealthy way. As women, we must guard our temples and our souls. We must be very weary of who we connect ourselves to. Sis, you are a diamond; a daughter of the King; and you are precious in the sight of God. Let God’s love fill your voids and desires. The man who God has for you will not only respect your decision to be celibate but as a God-fearing man, he will journey with you.
If I may, I would like to encourage the person reading this to seek God’s face on this decision. If you want a God relationship/marriage, it must carry the essence of Christ. You have to make up in your mind that you don’t want a relationship contrary to God’s will. You are not reading this article by coincidence or accident. I believe God is very intentional. God’s desire is for us to be in right standing with Him (in His will). If you’ve been getting the signs or a nudge to take the leap of faith and be celibate, let this be your confirmation. We would encourage you to go for it!
Father God, thank you. Thank you for loving me enough you sent your Son to die just for me. His death shows your infinite and indescribable love for me. My prayer is that you will allow me to feel this same love. Allow every void in me to be filled with your love. Help me to trust you in every area of my life even in my relationships. Give me the desire to suppress my flesh and anything that would be a hindrance to you blessing me. Give me the patience to wait on my God-ordained husband; help me to wait and let my waiting not be in vain. I’ll trust you as I try you on this journey to celibacy. Help sustain me and keep me from temptations. I thank you for answering this prayer. Amen.